Hiding your ugly baby under a bunch of pretty colors

Posted on 03/07/2010

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I see Avatar is nominated for an academy award. For what, I cannot figure out.  People keep telling me they thought the movie was great, but they can’t tell me WHY they thought it was great. To me, that’s the catch. It was all flash and no substance, and the flash was meh.

See, here’s the deal, the story of Avatar has been done about 100 times (what story hasn’t?) but Cameron made no moves to change it up. He kept the same old tired story of a person siding with the other side and fighting against his own people (Dances With Wolves anyone? Pocahontas?) When I go see a movie, if you want me to enjoy it, take the same rote tripe you’ve been selling and twist it up a bit.  Make it different. Avatar’s acting (which I assume has something to do with winning an Academy award, right?) story (which I think does too) were yuck. The Matrix was a better story, better acted, and had just as good special effects. But who of you knew the end of The Matrix before you walked into the theater? Everyone knew how Avatar was going to end.  Why wasn’t The Matrix nominated for Best Picture the year it came out?

Any writer I know could come up with that boring ass story, and honestly, if anyone besides Cameron had tried to sell that story to Hollywood, they would have been laughed out of the room. It’s been done–to death.

See, the thing is, everyone is wowed over the special effects. I say whoop-dee-do.  I play lots of video games, and it looked to me like another video game I play. I see many video games with great graphics, but sucky stories, and guess what? I don’t like them any more than I liked Avatar.

They key to making a successful movie that precisely follows the exact formula for these types of movie formulas, is to make the viewer CARE about the characters. Cameron failed in that respect. He usually doesn’t.

Honestly, if you saw Avatar, did you give a shit about any of the characters living or dying? Nope. Didn’t think so. And that is Cameron’s failure.  At least in Aliens we cared about Ripley, Hicks, Newt, Bishop…(Yeah, I can still remember their names after all these years).  In Terminator, we cared about Sarah, and John, and hell even the Terminator in the second movie. We even cared about Miles Dyson. (I can remember all them too…)  But in Avatar? Who cares? Seriously?

And Sam Worthington is a terrible actor. I am not sure how he is getting all these roles. I’ve seen him in three movies now, and was flabbergasted at how bad of an actor he is. He should be doing B movies with Segal and Van Damme.

But enough bitching.

If Avatar wins an Oscar tonight, I am forever out on any awards for movies–they will mean nothing. OUT I tell you. Hell, I should probably be out now.

Did you like Avatar? Really? Tell me why.

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