I haven’t posted anything in a long while. Sucks, I know. I’ve been too busy. That’s an excuse, but it’s a legitimate one. But not posting here doesn’t bother me half as much as not writing. I haven’t written any prose in almost four weeks. That’s a near record for me since I decided to start getting serious about my writing. Sometimes I’ll go a week without writing, but then I will hammer away at it for a few days and cram thousands of words into a matter of hours.
But life has a way of getting in the way.
My son (A United States Marine) came home on leave for 3 weeks. So he took up most of my home time…while at the VERY SAME TIME I got my new job. I was stressed at work, being inundated with information and work (I still am, by the way. My new job is a monster task–and very stressful at the moment).
So during the day, I was at new job, learning ropes ( I am a manager, so I not only have to learn my job, but the jobs of my people, and the teams we interact with, and the politics of the office, etc.) getting my but kicked, grinding my teeth from the usual first weeks jitters. (Although, I’ve never worked in an office where EVERYONE is so nice. It’s weird. Everyone I have talked to is nice and wonder if I am in some weird movie)
By the time I got home every day I was a nervous wreck. But when I got home, it wasn’t just kick back and relax. My son was here and I wanted to do things with him even though I was whipped mentally from my day. So I would try to do things with him, but as the weeks went by, I got more and more tense. Ultimately we had a huge party for him and that unclenched me a little.
Oh, and to top it off, my old computer died. So I had nothing to write on every day. My new computer is on order, but the place I get my computers from custom builds them, so it take about 3 weeks to get it in. I am writing his column on my wife’s laptop, and she is wanting her machine back.
So I suck, I guess. I haven’t been writing, even though I have 1/3 of one book done, and a complete revision needed on another book. I also need to finish the query letter i have been working on with uppington. I have lots of stuff to do, but I haven’t had the wherewithal to actually do them. When I get tense and stressed, I can’t write. I guess I need to get over that and get back to it. You know, Just Do It.
Easier said than done.
What keeps you from your writing? Is there any one thing (or many) that keeps you from putting words on the screen? Or am I the only one? Didn’t Nora Roberts say kick your muse to the curb, or some such? She’s hardcore. I like that.
MAYHEM! 
Julee
02/06/2010
I didn’t really know what kept me from writing till I read this. There’s been the holidays with all the accompanying busyness… but I just realized that I am stressed out as well. I have work stress and health issue stress. Neither are something I can immediately fix – but maybe I can do something to lower the stress level.
RenegadeScribe
02/06/2010
This post hits close to home for me. I haven’t been able to write for the past 4 months or so. All of these external stresses killed whatever desire I even had. To get myself back I forced myself to start reading again, and after that the desire started coming back and only this week did I come back to my projects.
I have to agree though that stress can impede writing. Even now, I still have the stress but I’m trying to work through it.
Thanks for the honest post. I think you beat me to the punch on this one. I was planning on writing one on my blog. 😉
jasonamyers
02/06/2010
heh. Yeah, it looks like we all have certain amounts of stress in our lives, and when it gets to a certain point, creativity shuts down. It’s good to see I’m not the only one!!!
uppington
02/06/2010
Sometimes it’s life that gets in the way for me. Usually, I’m my own biggest obstacle. Every time I sit down to write I have to kill the sneaky little voice that asks me “what’s the point when it all sucks so deeply?”
For you, right now? I have no doubt you’ll get back to it. Sometimes Real Life has to be the priority. We all have a limited amount of energy to expend. Do what you need to do. The writing demon will drive you back to the page eventually.
jasonamyers
02/06/2010
You’re brilliant!!!
The limited amount of energy is spot on. I have never thought of myself as having limits to what I can, do I do have limits and need to know them.
The writing demon will get me back. I’ve started to feel that pull…(as you know from the emails you’ve been receiving 🙂
Jeff Posey
02/15/2010
As you know, Jason, I started a new job about the same time you did, and, like you, it’s kicking my butt. I’ve been writing, but it’s a trickle compared to the hose I had going for so long.
I have a hired personal coach (a brilliant guy, a former finance professor of mine) who talks me down off most of my work cliffs. The number one topic on my list to discuss a couple weeks ago was “Posey Boundaries.” I thought I needed to reassert my personal boundaries to have protected space to write.
Turns out that wasn’t the problem at all. I had set firm personal boundaries and I had (have) the space to write. (Tight space, granted, but I have it.)
What is tripping me up comes down to what you could variously call mental discipline, letting go of work, rediscovering the joy in my own creative process, etc.
It’s the mental energy thing. I have a mixed blessing/curse in that I can laser-beam my concentration and get stuff done. But the laser beam gets overheated and burned out. I’ve been using it on high power for work for six weeks. When I hit my boundary time, I have a hard time turning off work that’s laser-etched into my brain and relaxing into that more wide-open, airy, creative place that is my personal writing.
I don’t know how to master that balance yet. Awareness and acknowledgment is the first step. I’ve got that. I’m still trying to figure out the second step. Probably involves those old bugaboos of diet and exercise. And throwing out mind clutter. Maybe becoming a Zen Buddhist monk. Ommm, baby.